The Bullrider

Through the cage bars he could just make it out.  Snorting, groaning, and just plain mad.  The massive creature bucked and kicked, struggling to free itself.  

“Damn” he thought, “I cant believe I’m dumb enough to actually ride these things.”

Suddenly, the angry eye of the bull met his through the cage, and he could feel the anger and strength in its body.  But he didn’t have more than a few seconds to contemplate it.  He felt a hand on his shoulder, and Bill’s gruff voice broke through the commotion.  

“You ready son?” he asked

Dustin hesitated a moment.  This was no time to turn back.

“Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess” he gasped

Bill could read his fear, but he did not acknowledge it.  He knew all to well what Dustin was feeling; he had been in this same place thirty years ago.

“Just remember to keep your heard on and hold tight.  As soon as they open that gate this thing’s gonna throw you around like a Barbie, and thats no time to lose your wits.” He stopped to yell orders to the handlers.

“And whatever you do, don’t goddamn fall off! It’s only eight seconds!”

With that the pep talk was over and it was time to get to business.

The crowd was going wild as the announcer started his introduction

“Ladies and Gentlemen, our net rider is Dustin Thomas of College Station, Texas.  This is his first year here in Ellensburg, so lets make him feel welcome!”

The crowd cheered, but he could not hear them over the sound of his own heart.

“Now I tell you Frank, this guy is about as tough as they come,” the announced exclaimed.

“Thats right Joe, he’s been riding these things since before he could probably walk! Wonder whats going through his head right now as he’s gettin himself strapped in?”

Nothing.  Absolutely nothing, except the monster he was strapping himself to.  By now, he was already settling on it’s back, trying to stay upright as the others helped him on.  For the first time he could feel the full force of its strength as it heaved beneath him.  

“Starlight,” he whispered, “Hell of a nice name for such a pissed off bull.” He tossed his head back with a nervous laugh.

“Hey, you’d be pretty pissed off too if we pulled a strap around your balls kid,” Tom said, attempting to ease his nervousness.  

Adjusting the straps around his hands tightly, he looked out at the stands.

“She’s out there, somewhere,” he thought

The announcer’s voice boomed.

“Dustin is going to be riding a bull named Starlight, and I tell ya’ thats gotta be the meanest damn animal I have ever seen.  I hate that thing Frank, I really do.”

With that, Dustin threw a glance to Tom.  After a nervous thumbs up, he offered a nod, to which Dustin replied with a tip of his hat.  With a metallic clink, the gate was flung open.

Suddenly, the full fury of the animal was upon him as he felt it erupt beneath him.  The arena became a massive, jolting blur, as he held for dear life.  Buck after buck, time seemed to slow.  Feeling himself sliding to the right, he grasped his straps and pulled with all his strength to attempt to right himself.  Sensing Dustin shifting on his back, the massive animal kicked with a renewed fury.  Suddenly, the bull was nearly on its hind legs, kicking and writhing with every fiber of its being.  Dustin felt his grip loosen and his thighs lose their grasp around the animal’s sides.  Before he could realize it, the Bull gave out one last kick, and he felt his feet leave the fleshy flanks.  The world briefly inverted then went black with a dirty opacity.  The soft stadium dirt cushioned him, but he was instantly aware of a shooting pain in his leg.  He could hear the collective sigh of relief from the audience as he rolled himself painfully to his back.  Through the haze, he could hear the announced screaming.

“That bull just jumped the fence and made out towards the parking lot! I cant believe this! Ladies and Gentlemen, please, stay seated! Our ropers are some of the finest, they’ll nab him!”

Dustin couldn't help but grin weakly.  By now he could see Tom and the medics looking down at him.

“You’ll be all right son,” Tom reassured him.  “Starlight just took you for one hell of a ride.”

“My leg.” Dustin moaned.

“We got you, just don’t move,” the medic said.

As he lay there wincing, he remembered- the clock.  In all the commotion, he had completely forgotten to watch for his time.  He slowly raised himself up on his elbows and squinted at the timer over the bullpen.  A painful smile formed at the corners of his mouth

“Eight seconds,” he whispered.   

Copyright Chris Pattillo September 2011

The Importance of Skepticism

Nota Bene: This piece is meant in no way to reflect badly on religion or those who are religious themselves.  It is simply meant to reflect my musings on the concept of skepticism, in this case applied to my personal journey in regards to religion.

Skepticism is defined as "an attitude of doubt or a disposition to incredulity either in general or toward a particular object."  But what is skepticism to the common person? How does this way of thinking affect us in our daily lives, and how can we apply it to ourselves in a constructive way?


To be skeptical is to be human, that is, to be human is to doubt things.  Topics that garner skepticism vary from science to religion.  Many think of skepticism as an almost negative state of mind- and those seen as skeptics of established norms are often looked at as outsiders (even heretics, historically).  


But what does the journey to skepticism entail? Well, most of the times it begins with a simple question: Is my belief true? The first seeds of doubt usually plant themselves as questions of legitimacy.  For me, this became a key question in my understanding of religion.  For years I had simply accepted the legitimacy of my deep set religious beliefs, as they were around me constantly- in school, at home, and in literature. But as I began to analyze these views for myself, the whispering voice of skepticism hummed in the back of my mind.  I was forced to face the reality that I may not have been truly as convinced as I believed.  Initially, this was somewhat frightening.  Tearing away one's deep set belief system is never easy, and the gradual departure from my religious views took time.  Before long, my skepticism was full fledged, and I found myself unable to continue with the belief.


As a person of science, I find that skepticism is essential to the scientific mindset.  Whenever something is presented as fact, I find myself usually with a few nagging questions.  This is good for anyone however-  to doubt is to engage in the process of seeking the truth.  If something is legitimately and unarguably true, you shouldn't doubt it.  Conversely, this does not necessarily mean that if  you doubt something it is wrong- it just means that you are engaging in the process of proving it to yourself.  Along the course of the way, you may even find that a deep set belief is no longer supported enough to be believed in any longer.


Does this mean that everything should constantly be questioned? Well, it is  important to note that some things should almost be allowed to remain mysterious.  Take love, for example.  If you love somebody, and you are sure they love you back, it is unhealthy to remain doubtful throughout the relationship.  If you wake every morning finding yourself needing more and more proof that she loves you, you will soon cause a deep rift in the romance.  Unless there is real reason to believe the person's love is waning, accept it whole-heartedly.  


So, what is the point of all this? Well, ultimately, as I have said above, the goal is the attainment of truth. One should constantly be seeking truth and reality, in order to clearly see the and live in a real world.  It may be difficult at first, but the finality will be even more rewarding.